Manhunt in Mitcham

In my past, I used to work as a bookkeeper for a non-profit organisation in Mitcham, an eastern suburb of Melbourne. (Can you imagine me balancing books and writing financial reports? Either this organisation enjoyed taking risks or they were desperate). Anyways, I digress.

On a Wednesday morning, I woke up late and missed my train. So, by the time I arrived at the Mitcham train station, I was one hour late. Normally, it was required of me to walk roughly two kilometres to my workplace. Today, I was struck by a briliant idea and proceeded to ask for a ride from someone in the carpark. (Before I continue, my action is justified since I grew up in a third world country and catching rides from strangers is a natural thing to do.) So, I quickly approached a small hatchback and was about to knock on the window. The driver, who was a young female, panicked and drove off; even though I was dressed in a smart business attire and was carrying a briefcase.

Let us take a moment and consider my situation. I am one hour late and have just frightened a random, young female driver.

So, my mode of transportation changed and I proceeded to walk. One hundred metres from my workplace, a police car approached me (with its siren on - as if I could not see it). A police officer stepped out dressed in a fluorescent yellow vest and asked me, "We are looking for a man who matches your description. Apparently, this man tried to attack a women in her car." Now, firstly, I would love to know what my description was. Secondly, why are they looking for me?

For the next thirty minutes, I experienced the Spanish Inquisition all over again. The police officer interrogated me regarding my occupation, why I needed a ride and so on. All of this on the street in public view for all and sundry to see. After the officer was satisfied that I was being honest, he pulled out his walkie talkie and said "Cancel, Cancel, Cancel, We found the man."

Let us take a moment and consider my situation. I am one hour and a half hour late, have frightened a random, female driver, and am being publicly interrogated by the police.

The police officer turned to me and said, "Do you realise that there is a manhunt looking for you?" Of course, my answer was no. (At this point, I should have run into the side streets and hid beneath the bushes.) He said, "Yes, there are dogs, one divisional van, two police cars and a helicopter looking for you." (Now, what should be my reaction to this?) He then said, "Please don't hitchhike. This lady was so frightened she dialled Emergency (000)."

FINALLY, I arrived at my workplace. More than two hours late. As I walked in the door, my boss wished to speak to me. I knew there were two possible outcomes : either he would fire me or he would see the funny side of the situation and laugh. Fortunately, my boss is irish and chose the latter option.........

........whenever a helicopter flew over the workplace, everyone looked at me.

In conclusion, I would to apologise to this random, female driver who I never met. My humble apologies. I would also like to thank all the taxpayers for covering the expenses of the manhunt in Mitcham.